Half-way

Since late last year, I went on a mission to lose weight. For those of you who have not met me in real life, I have been massively overweight for the last couple years. I wasn't always this big though, believe it or not, I was once slim!

When I fell pregnant with Miss Bossy, I had a jolly good time stuffing my face with whatever I felt like. And 9 months later, I had packed on 20 kilos and that put me in the obese category. Yup. I wasn't that tall either so that made it a whole lot worse.

Unfortunately, it didn't stop there. Unlike most new mums, who couldn't wait to jump back on the dieting bandwagon and kick start their goal to getting their body back to where it was pre-baby or even somewhere close to that, I was doing the opposite. I kept on living the sedentary life and ate to my hearts content. I was going through a hard time as a new mum, going back to work full time after only 6 months maternity leave, sleep deprivation and simply adjusting to a new life with a new baby without any family support. Getting back into shape was the last thing on my mind! It doesn't help that I love food too so there you go.

So naturally with that unhealthy lifestyle, the weight kept creeping up, my already big sized clothes no longer fit me and I had to get even bigger size clothes. I was devastated and I lost every sense of self confidence to say the least. I know I was massive, I know I needed to do something but it was so hard! I went on many diets and never followed through. I think the husband wasn't convinced if I were going to succeed this time as mentioned before I never see through any diet I start and I don't blame him.

However, this time, at my heaviest, not only do I feel humongous, I have many health problems related to being so overweight. My back hurts constantly and I couldn't even walk up a slope without feeling like death. The main motivation for me was Miss Bossy. I feel responsible and owe it to her to be fit and healthy. I want to set a good example of a healthy lifestyle. To me personally, it is very important that my child(ren) grows up to be healthy and sporty. I have always wanted my kids to love being active, love playing sports and that have always been my goal as a mother to nurture them towards that direction. But before I do that, I have to work on myself first don't I? Everything starts at home.

After 6 months into this mission, I am finally at my half way mark. Although it is only half way but it is still a big deal to me. This morning, when I fitted into my old work dress/suit jacket which has been sitting in my cupboard for years, I was humbly thrilled. For the first time in a long time, I feel so proud of myself having come this far. This journey has been so terribly hard but I stuck to it. All the sweat, tears, pain and constant inner battle with myself of wanting to quit and all those mornings where I drag my feet to the gym really paid off. Those days of endless temptation with food has got to be the hardest of all and it still is.

When I started this weight lose journey, I never thought I will get this far. To be honest, I never thought I would fit into my old pre-baby clothes ever again. I thought I'd just give it a shot and see where it takes me.

It is not the end yet, as I said, I am still only at the half way mark but blogging about this now serves as a reminder to me to not get complacent, which I know too very well.

Let's hope it just gets better from here.

xo, Miss Leney